This transforms Nos into Yeses like Magic

How to get more wedding and private gigs

Oct 03, 2025

Happy FEM Music Friday!

If you have been hearing a lot of “no” lately, I want you to know there is nothing wrong with you or your dream. Every artist I know has experienced plenty of nos on their way to more yeses (including me).

What changes the experience is not begging harder or shrinking smaller. It is a subtler but stronger shift.

You begin asking as the version of you who expects good to happen and moves as if it already is.

I call this delusional confidence, and despite the name, it is not careless. But it is life-changing and mindblowingly powerful...

In this issue

🥽This transforms Nos into Yeses like Magic

🛠️Ladies...WOS Holiday Song Submissions Are Open

🎧Attracting High-End Wedding & Event Bookings Using Unique Social Content

📻Add These Songs To Your Playlist

Delusional confidence is choosing the best case scenario as your working assumption and letting your actions line up with it.

You still do your homework and you still care about people. This is not an ego play, or a “sit back and God or the universe will take care of it” approach.

You simply stop pre-rejecting yourself.

You let the email go out. You follow up with warmth. You show up like someone who gets yeses, because yes is possible.

This pairs beautifully with a practice I teach all the time.

Step into your future self now.

When I send a pitch, I picture the Bree who has already filled two rooms this month and made it easy for the venue team. She is kind, clear, and decisive.

That energy is magnetic. It is what a friend of mine calls “hot chick energy”.

It is not about age or looks. It is about a calm, contagious confidence that makes people want to be around you.

Here is why this matters in your music life.

Most artists are not losing as much as they think. They are opting out too early.

They close the tab before they hit send. They assume the curator or the booker will ignore them, so they never try.

When you stop self rejecting, you give yourself a chance to collect more yeses. Yes for gigs. Yes for PR or airplay. Yes for a playlist add. Yes for the fan who buys the super fan bundle because you invited her to be part of your mission.

Your pitch will feel better when you remove apology language and add proof points.

Share a short live clip from a similar stage.
Include one quote from a fan about your show.
Add a simple stat from your last email.

Keep a little swipe file so these assets are always at the ready.

Decision makers are human. Confidence, clarity and ease help them help you.

Let’s apply delusional confidence to a few places artists tend to hesitate.

For gigs, write like the headliner who is easy to work with. Try a subject line that names the date and vibe of the set. In the body, share two warm sentences that position your story, add a 60 second live clip that fits their venue, make one clear ask, and offer a quick call. Then send it to five venues.

If you are early on, stack open mics one night a week and treat them like your lab. Use them to shape your on-stage persona practice the confident, friendly banter that moves people to your merch table.

Your first airplay can be a local or niche podcast (like Women of Substance) where you show up with a story the host cannot forget. You are learning to make clear offers and to show up with presence, which is what professionals do.

For merch, practice the ask on stage in a way that feels like you. Do not apologize for selling. Tie your offer to your mission. Share a short story about why a song was written, then invite people to wear the message home. There is always someone in the room who came ready to support. Your confident invitation makes it easy for her to do that.

If you have stepped away from music for a season, hear this. Your life experience is part of your magnetism. Delusional confidence means knowing your life experience outweighs any paralyzing thoughts you have about being too old or too late. You are right on time for the value you bring.

Here is your delusional confidence-backed plan for the next seven days.

Each morning, speak your one line music mission out loud until it feels like a sweater that fits.
Do at least three things each day that feel scary, without bargaining or moving them on your calendar.
If fear pops up, remind yourself that you do not know what you do not know. Assume there is room for you, you belong there, and even that they’d be lucky to have you (not ego, just delusional confidence).

I cannot wait to hear about the yeses that show up when you begin moving forward like “future you”.

Hit reply and tell me one thing you’re going to practice delusional confidence in this week so I can cheer you on.

Always in your corner, <3 Bree

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You’re reading the Profitable Musician Newsletter, FEM Friday Edition. This Friday newsletter is created for Female Artists & Advocates, and focuses on our mission to amplify quality music by Female Artists & Female-Fronted Bands in all genres and help them build a thriving music career and solid business. If you’d like to unsubscribe from FEM Fridays but still receive our regular Wednesday Profitable Musician Newsletter, click here and we’ll note your preference.

NOW ACCEPTING HOLIDAY MUSIC SUBMISSIONS

For the 18th Annual WOS Holiday Series

Submit original songs or public domain (please verify before submitting) about Christmas, New Year’s, Hanukkah, or Kwanzaa. Please note, we only take direct submissions for this popular series (no Submithub or Groover).

Click below to submit. 👇 Deadline Nov 10

I WANT TO SUBMIT MY MUSIC!

ON THE PODCAST

Get the inside scoop on building a thriving event music business with cellist Marc Christian. I dive into Marc’s journey, his approach to booking weddings, and practical tips for instrumentalists in today’s music scene.

How Marc shifted from classical training to a successful wedding and events business
Strategies for getting started in private events without an established network
The importance of content creation and leveraging Instagram for bookings
Tips for growing referrals, managing clients, and building a strong reputation
Advice for young musicians on finding the right niche and giving your best, no matter the gig

Check out the full episode to learn actionable insights for musicians and performers looking to break into the event industry!

WATCH OR LISTEN HERE

WOMEN OF SUBSTANCE FEATURED TRACKS

Megan Burback - Lovers Or Nothing

Megan Burback is a Chicago-based singer-songwriter who crafts catchy songs full of heart and honesty. Blending indie pop with small-town charm, her songs capture the excitement, messiness, and magic of falling in and out of love. Her latest project, Brighter Days, is a feel-good collection inspired by her hometown. With a playful heart and relatable storytelling, Megan brings her music to life both in the studio and on stages throughout the Midwest.

The One Eighties - Bottle Up The Lightning

The One Eighties is a name that suits Autumn Brand and Daniel Cook down to the core. After garnering high praise with their former band New Reveille from The New York Times, Rolling Stone,Billboard, and CMT, they were just starting to make waves. But like many a common tale, their record label closed down, the pandemic hit, and the band went their separate ways. The chronically indecisive pair then pulled a “one-eighty” and changed course, driven by the challenge of setting out on their own.

Mathea-Mari - Crush

Norwegian pop singer Mathea-Mari is a 24-year-old songwriter whose voice and presence have captivated audiences since childhood. A finalist on Norway’s Got Talent at age 12 and winner of Eurovision Junior at 14, Mathea-Mari now makes her comeback with two debut releases: “Tired of Fixing a Broken Heart” and “Crush.” “Tired of Fixing a Broken Heart” was lyrically crafted by award-winning artist Christian Burns (BBMak, Tiesto, Paul Oakenfold), composed by Matt Alvers, produced by Chris Gill (Shinedown, Lady A, Brett Eldredge), and mastered by the legendary Ted Jensen of Sterling Sound. “Crush” was originally produced by iconic producer Rick Beato for the rock band SomeOtherLife in 2003. Now, Mathea-Mari reimagines the track as a bright, summer-ready pop anthem.

LISTEN TO THE WOMEN OF SUBSTANCE MUSIC PODCAST